Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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