Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
