No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
