never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
