They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
