I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
