Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
