already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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