"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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