I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Alive.
So much puke
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
