Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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