I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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