so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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