I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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