Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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