some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
FUCK WHALES
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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