i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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