I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
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