Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Randomize
