your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
