my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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