his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
