just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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