id be glad to
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I think my vagina is haunted
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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