no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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