i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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