So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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