Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
