I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
