i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
