I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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