I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
