He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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