:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
