you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize