you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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