Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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