Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
