I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
