My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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