You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I use my feet as sexual weapons
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
