Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
