i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
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I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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