I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
