i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
