An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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