me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
