Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize