he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
