wat bout pragnant strippers??
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
