So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
