I CAN MOONWALK!
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
What a dumb baby whore.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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