that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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