oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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