ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Someone shit on the floor
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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