Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
