i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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