Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
