we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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