whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
