can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize