Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
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